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A review by hazel_heart
The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

3.0

This book is very unpredictable and I loved that. When Tané meets a mysterious stranger on the shore and she suddenly has a gut feeling to help him, you think that the mysterious stranger and Tané are gonna accomplish something cool, NOPE! And then she has a best friend she's known from childhood and you'd think they'd be together for a while but NOPE. When Niclays finally realizes he's an old fart and remembers his true love, you'd think he'd have a change of heart and be less of an asshole, NOPE! And you'd think Loth wouldn't ever consider blaspheming his beloved saints but oh boy he even talked to a dragon at some point and I'm so fucking proud of him and Kit would be too!! Same thing about Eadaz, you expect her to be a cold-blooded dragon slayer who'd never go against her religion but she apparently has a soft spot for... Damsels in distress? Very ironic. And does she go on to blaspheme like hell, you go girl! But the person who surprised me the most was Sabran. She had most of the burden on her shoulders, she had the fate and hopes of half of the world on her shoulders and she stood up for her love and friends and did everything in her queenly power to help them in their journey. A true queen through and through, Eadaz is a lucky bitch. Even while writing this review I get teary because, Sabran is just precious and I'm all aaaaa!

This is a stand alone book, and it's high fantasy (billion times better than lord of the rings btw), so there's a lot of world building and it's amazing. I could read a whole novel about a traveler going through this beautiful world, it's full of ball rooms, dragons, legends, myths, politics, grim tales, it's just lovely but instead we see this world through a bunch of salty, selfish jerks. They redeem themselves in the end sure but reading 400 pages through the eyes of such dumbasses is a hassle. I hardly wanted to pick the book up at times, and that shows in the fact that it took me a month to finish it. But hey, they're good in the end and that's all that matters. I'm proud of them all, they've done great!

I gave this book three stars because of the slow world and character building that took over 400 pages. And the "climax" of the book. We should invent a new word for this ending. It's hard to call it a climax. If this book was sex I'd call it premature ejaculation but this somehow feels worse than your partner panting while you doze off. I mean I guess the author wanted to focus more on personal growth of the people in the story and all and that's understanble. But to create a world in which The Nameless One wreaked so much havoc on the world that for a thousand years people dreaded his existence, created laws and religions to prevent his return and then make him return to whisper creepy nothings to a few young adults before biting the dust is just soooo weak!

PS: I still think the author is brilliant for intertwining everyone's fates so beautifully in a vast beautiful world.
PSS: Lord of the Rings can't even come close to this.