“HOW MANY LOVES DO YOU GET IN A LIFETIME?” • When I was 10, I met a boy. I remember how it soon became clear that the rougher edges we each had were cut from a similar cloth, that we weren’t alone in our brokenness. Such a specific form of comradery can be rare. And so, for the next 8½ years, we played a ridiculous game where yes, we fell in love, but also— we didn’t know how to love someone properly yet, had no clear picture of it in our lives to refer back to, so we just kept on hurting each other too, instead. Over and over again. But there was always still so much love there in that loop, something constant for us both. So we justified it. We stayed.

And maybe we could have worked through our issues if we knew the things we know now about love & life, who really knows, but that’s not what happened and that’s also completely okay. I don’t regret that relationship, or any of my previous ones for that matter. They all taught me things about myself that made me into the woman I am today, someone who is able to love both herself & others freely and without fear.

I really do love this novel, despite how much it triggered me sometimes lmao— and I say that with total honestly!

Parks & BJ’s relationship is so…. If you’ve been there before, even in just some capacity, you know. It’s definitely not healthy, but you also can’t help but hope they each get their shit together & earn that HEA. Or, alternatively, come to terms with the fact that “HEA” may just be a world where they do* get their shit together… but the other person is no longer in their lives to see it. And again, that’s okay. It’s just how the journey works.

If you read the OG Gossip Girl book series by CvZ + watched the show — and yes, as someone who has done both, I do believe there are some key differences between the two lmao — you’ll love the MP series. It’s messy, yes, but in a way I find relatable. The writing is aces, with the Found Family™ vibes front & center. Onto Book 2!