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A review by beefgir
Agents of Light and Darkness by Simon R. Green
1.0
this author is really bad at writing.
there are several problems i have with his style. but before all that, i have to talk about the god damn nightside.
i swear to fuck, stop talking about the nightside!
we get it. you are IN the nightside. you dont need to wax poetic every other sentence about it. he would start describing where he was, and then just start talking about the nightside:
you have to be that way to grow up in the nightside.
thats just how you live in the nightside.
who knows what will happen cause you are in the nightside.
the nightside this, the nightside that, the nightside, the nightside the nightside the nightside.
thats what put me off this book the most was just every other line was about how unusual and strange and scary the nightside is. but it was to a disgusting degree.
its like if someone was missing both arms, and they where telling stories, but they wanted you to feel bad for them all the time, so they constantly remind you though out the story how they cant pick up this cup like everyone else, or how they cant hold the railing, because "i got no arms"
for example "i stepped off the moving subway, and staggered slightly. it was hard to catch my balance because i had no arms. finally under control i walked over to the turn style, and jammed my hips into it, because i dont have hands to push it out of the way. it rotated as i passed. now that my hips where hurting, i looked for the stairs to leave the subway when someone approached me. they asked for some spare change, but i could not give any because i dont have hands to reach into my pockets. i hope he didnt notice, because if he attacked me, i could not fight him off because i have no hands. so i tried to point him to someone else who might help, but i cant point because like i said, i dont have arms. so i told him i could not help him. he thanked me anyway and offered me a hand to shake. i stared at it. a stab of pain shot though me because i could not shake his hand because i didnt have any hands. suddenly the man noticed his mistake and awkwardly walked away. sighing, i walked over to the stares to leave the tunnel. as i ascended, i stumbled and tried to grab the railing, but i dont have any hands, so i cracked my teeth on the steps as i fell. my world filled with pain as i slid back down the stares, unable to stop myself because i dont have any arms. a man saw me fall and rushed over. he offered me a hand up. i started crying, BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ANY HANDS!!!"
its like that, but about the nightside. its EXHAUSTING!
now about his other flaws.
#1
characters actions do not make sense most of the time. conversations do not flow. most of the conversations are just questions blurted out with no thought process or lead up, or any sign that such a question was coming.
"why did you shoot me 6 years ago. i didnt know why i said it, but i did" is a line that just pops up after asking someone if they are eating properly. after talking for 3 pages about the history they have together, and how he has access to her house, and the state it is in. its just sloppy writing. its like the author does not know how to have conversations, and hes just jamming dialog together as best he can.
or a time that he was bartering with some demons, and they say name a price. he says he wants information. then no lead up, or backstory, or anything, he just says "where is my mother" i didnt know she was missing, or that it was even in the story, but this important question is just thrown into the middle of a conversation like everyone saw it coming.
#2
first person story telling.
the story is told in first person, but he describes things he can obviously not see. like a dead girl they saw across the room, he gave great detail on how their where teeth marks on her exposed ribs from a hole in her side, and that he could tell that several organs where missing. which just is not possible.
the author just steps out of the first person theme to describe EVERYTHING going on around him, and its overwhelming most of the time, cause its the nightside, and he has to tell how incredibly strange it is, but he has the main character tell it all in inner dialog. which makes no sense!
#3
because of his inability to make events connect, you are just along for a ride with no purpose. no actions are explained, and there is no logical reason for going anywhere. you just have to fallow along.
i read the first book, and had the same problem. i hated it. years later i found out the series had kept going, so i thought i would give the second one a try, hoping he had gotten better. i was wrong. i do not recommend this series, or anything this person writes.
there are several problems i have with his style. but before all that, i have to talk about the god damn nightside.
i swear to fuck, stop talking about the nightside!
we get it. you are IN the nightside. you dont need to wax poetic every other sentence about it. he would start describing where he was, and then just start talking about the nightside:
you have to be that way to grow up in the nightside.
thats just how you live in the nightside.
who knows what will happen cause you are in the nightside.
the nightside this, the nightside that, the nightside, the nightside the nightside the nightside.
thats what put me off this book the most was just every other line was about how unusual and strange and scary the nightside is. but it was to a disgusting degree.
its like if someone was missing both arms, and they where telling stories, but they wanted you to feel bad for them all the time, so they constantly remind you though out the story how they cant pick up this cup like everyone else, or how they cant hold the railing, because "i got no arms"
for example "i stepped off the moving subway, and staggered slightly. it was hard to catch my balance because i had no arms. finally under control i walked over to the turn style, and jammed my hips into it, because i dont have hands to push it out of the way. it rotated as i passed. now that my hips where hurting, i looked for the stairs to leave the subway when someone approached me. they asked for some spare change, but i could not give any because i dont have hands to reach into my pockets. i hope he didnt notice, because if he attacked me, i could not fight him off because i have no hands. so i tried to point him to someone else who might help, but i cant point because like i said, i dont have arms. so i told him i could not help him. he thanked me anyway and offered me a hand to shake. i stared at it. a stab of pain shot though me because i could not shake his hand because i didnt have any hands. suddenly the man noticed his mistake and awkwardly walked away. sighing, i walked over to the stares to leave the tunnel. as i ascended, i stumbled and tried to grab the railing, but i dont have any hands, so i cracked my teeth on the steps as i fell. my world filled with pain as i slid back down the stares, unable to stop myself because i dont have any arms. a man saw me fall and rushed over. he offered me a hand up. i started crying, BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ANY HANDS!!!"
its like that, but about the nightside. its EXHAUSTING!
now about his other flaws.
#1
characters actions do not make sense most of the time. conversations do not flow. most of the conversations are just questions blurted out with no thought process or lead up, or any sign that such a question was coming.
"why did you shoot me 6 years ago. i didnt know why i said it, but i did" is a line that just pops up after asking someone if they are eating properly. after talking for 3 pages about the history they have together, and how he has access to her house, and the state it is in. its just sloppy writing. its like the author does not know how to have conversations, and hes just jamming dialog together as best he can.
or a time that he was bartering with some demons, and they say name a price. he says he wants information. then no lead up, or backstory, or anything, he just says "where is my mother" i didnt know she was missing, or that it was even in the story, but this important question is just thrown into the middle of a conversation like everyone saw it coming.
#2
first person story telling.
the story is told in first person, but he describes things he can obviously not see. like a dead girl they saw across the room, he gave great detail on how their where teeth marks on her exposed ribs from a hole in her side, and that he could tell that several organs where missing. which just is not possible.
the author just steps out of the first person theme to describe EVERYTHING going on around him, and its overwhelming most of the time, cause its the nightside, and he has to tell how incredibly strange it is, but he has the main character tell it all in inner dialog. which makes no sense!
#3
because of his inability to make events connect, you are just along for a ride with no purpose. no actions are explained, and there is no logical reason for going anywhere. you just have to fallow along.
i read the first book, and had the same problem. i hated it. years later i found out the series had kept going, so i thought i would give the second one a try, hoping he had gotten better. i was wrong. i do not recommend this series, or anything this person writes.