I have come to realize that while for years I might have imagined myself to be somewhere else, in reality I have been there all the time: up at the top by the muddy wheel-ruts in the new grass, where the sky is dark over the shivering apple blossoms and the first chill of the snow that will fall that night is already in the air.

Though I remember only too well the long terrible night that lay ahead and the long terrible days and nights that followed, I have only to glance over my shoulder for all those years to drop away and I see it behind me again, the ravine, rising all green and black through the saplings, a picture that will never leave me.

I suppose at one time in my life I might have had any number of stories, but now there is no other. This is the only story I will ever be able to tell.

3.5 stars rounded up.

So, Tartt can write. From the first page I was drawn into the story. Excellent characterization, compelling descriptions, terrifyingly accelerating plot. Also the references to the classics? The conversations in Greek, the mentions of Eliot and Housman and Liddell & Scott... I felt on the inside of a very nerdy joke. And while the ending didn't give nearly enough closure, I suppose that was the point. I am going to be thinking about this book, and wondering if any of the characters ever found any solace outside themselves, for a long time.

Basically everyone is coping with life by drinking, smoking, and doing drugs. Some of this felt appropriate for the story; some did not. (There's also off-page sex occasionally, which suits the morals of the characters but was not pleasant for me.) And then there's the murder, which you learn about on page one and then anticipate for quite a while. This is truly dark, creepy, horrifying, Dionysian academia. I wouldn't read it if you're not down for that. If you're a college student, especially of the classics, this might be worth reading. As a classics student myself, I am all for studying Greek and Latin. Just remember, you can do that without the drugs.

EDITED TO ADD: I am very tired of the trend of romanticizing dark academia, and when I saw a playlist called "i want to live in the secret history but without the murder" I just about went crazy. You should not, cannot, do that. What Tartt is saying here is that these characters were messed up from the beginning. You are not meant to think "oh, well if they just didn't murder someone, it would be fine." This is a book about the choices and systems and habits that make one the sort of person who can commit a murder.

With rue my heart is laden
For golden friends I had,
For many a rose-lipt maiden
And many a lightfoot lad.
By brook too broad for leaping
The lightfoot boys are laid;
The rose-lipt girls are sleeping
In fields where roses fade.
-ae housman