12/19/20: This review continues to be a source of great annoyance. Since I can’t mute the comment section, I’ll just put a little message here: don’t comment. I don’t read the comments anymore and I don’t care what you have to say. I don’t want to discuss this silly non-review I wrote when I was 16; I haven’t thought about this particular piece of literature in years. If you’re so terribly offended that a stranger on the internet dislikes a pamphlet written 244 years ago, please consider doing the following: take a deep breath, step away from your computer, go for a walk, reevaluate your life choices, and, failing all that, jump off a cliff.

Spoiler

NO. NO. NO. NOOOOO. NOPE.



DRY. DRIER THAN AN ANCIENT RAISIN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ATACAMA DESERT*. DRY AND BORING AS FUCK.


*Driest desert in the world, located in South America just West of the Andes. Average of 0.6 inches (15 mm) rainfall per year. Extremely arid and lifeless. Just like this essay.