I am obsessed with Dr. Mensah and this snippet solidified that obsession. It's SO GOOD.

Knowing what would happen, she wouldn't choose a different planet, a different bond company. Because then SecUnit would still be someone's property, would be waiting for the contract where negligence or greed or indifference of its clients got it killed.

It must be hard to respect other people's privacy when you've had to fight and scheme for every minute of your own. Hard not to be paranoid when you remember all the times your paranoia was justified.

Mensah makes me want to cry because I love her so much. The empathy and love that she feels for SecUnit even in the face of so much hardship is incredible.

The problem is that part of her mind still believes she's on TranRollinHyfa, held prisoner by corporate murderers. Being aware of that should help, but it doesn't. The message packets echo the moment when SecUnit pinged her fed and she knew that rescue was possible. The moment she became a herself again and not a bargaining chip.

I LOVE this moment. Mensah is a character with an incredible burden on her shoulders and I love that Wells doesn't shy away from showing us this. She is incredible, but she is not infallible. She's dealig with the aftermath of something terrifying and it's not easy. Getting to look into her mind here and see how deep that trauma really runs just makes her participation in everything that comes next so much more meaningful.

She takes a step back and bumps into someone's chest. Before she can panic, the words are in her feed: It's me.

"Station Security is forty-seven seconds out." SecUnit's voice is even and conversational. And confident. This is a confrontation it knows how to handle. It's slipped in front of her, reassuring lean bulk between her and the intruder. Its also somehow managed to catch the syrup bottle she had dropped without noticing, and it set it on the counter. "Forty-six. Forty-five. Forty-four--"
The journalist flails and runs.
The others arrive in a noisy mob, questions, worry, Ratthi exclaiming, "SecUnit jumped over my head!"

These two are going to be the death of me. Mensah is a leader: she is used to being strong and in command more often than not. But when that strength fails, SecUnit is there for her to cover the gaps, just as she has been there for it when it's own strength fails. The way they leap into the gaps of each other's defenses without even thinking simply beccause they love each other and want to protect each other is insanity-inducing.

SecUnit is looking down at her. "You can hug me if you want to."
"No. No, that's all right. I know you don't care for it." She wipes her face. There are tears in her eyes, because she's an idiot.
"It's not terrible." She can hear the irony under its even tone.
"Nevertheless." She can't do this. She can't lean on a being that doesn't want to be leaned on. Of all the things SecUnit needs, the only ones she can give it are room and time in a relatively safe space to make decisions for itself. Becoming a prop for her failing emotional stability won't do either of them any good.

Mensah and Murderbot are so similiar. It's the fact they both belittle themselves for having emotions and daring to express them, even involuntarily. It's the fact that they both give too much of themselves for the sake of others. It's Mensah being aware of how unfair it is to expect SecUnit to be her primary source of comfort, and having the strength to give it space even when she doesn't want to. I just adore her so much.