i’ve been meaning to read this for years but never got around to it and i honestly think i would’ve probably loved it more if id read it back in the end. 

it’s very obviously inspired by the secret history and a love of shakespeare — so it’s easy to see why you’d compare it to, at least, the secret history. when doing so, it unfortunately falls pretty flat and oftentimes feels like a parody of dark academia.

i’m not one to proclaim realism as the most important thing in fiction. but i need to feel that the actions of these characters are rooted in something that makes some sort of sense — like, y’all could’ve just gone to authorities and complained about your fellow student but instead you decide to let him die (which, i don’t really feel anything over? like rip but who cares?).

where the secret history channels intense guilt in such a vivid way, if we were villains just explains it constantly. it’s hardly shown and makes that’s a first person narrative issue but it’s probably not. i hardly felt the grief, the guilt or any of the emotions these characters supposedly feel? it’s a book that’s meant to capture you through the characters and it barely does that.

there’s obviously the (mostly) unrequited queer love and uncertainty that comes from all those unexplainable feelings. it’s doomed love and all that shit. it’s fine. it would’ve been much better if the book hadn’t ended with a possibility of james still being alive — sometimes we should allow tragic queer stories to be tragic and depressing. 

anyway, it’s easy to get through and the writing is pretty accessible despite all the shakespeare. the premise is interesting and i think if i had read it in 2017 that i would’ve completely devoured it. so it’s possibly just a wrong book, wrong time for me? i’m still gonna read the author’s other work!