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A review by inkerly
Living With A Peace of Mind by Ehimwenma E. Aimiuwu
2.0
This book has me conflicted on a lot of things. But before the review, I must get into how I came across this book.
****
I came across this book by chance. I didn't actually intend to buy this book; I had bought African chewing sticks on his website, a pack for "$20 plus a free gift", in order to support a fellow African. What I didn't realize though was that the "free" gift that it came with was his book that currently retails on his site for $15, meaning that in reality, I overpaid $15 for a book that I never asked for.
That alone left a bad taste in my mouth before I even picked up the book. But I decided to read it anyways because regardless of the deceitful way the author went about selling his book, I'm always intrigued to read and consume works by African authors. Now onto the review.
*****
REVIEW:
This book is about how to reframe your mindset and lead your life with purpose and Faith in God. The author is a well-read, highly educated and religious Edo-Nigerian man who uses Christ and his cultural values to explain his reasonings. On the surface, it's your typical spiritual self help book, and does well in some things (using an Aesop's Fables - like rhythm to teach the principles of peaceful living with unique retellings of the Bible).
The problem is, most often it also reads as a shortsighted and oversimplified analysis of the Bible in order to support the author's misogynistic and duplicitous views of how society ought to be.
The advice is not unique. We all have heard things like you must "Understand who you really are" and "Have courage to take necessary steps" to achieve our true purpose in life. No issue there.
But when the author tries to segway into explaining the modern issues faced today ... it gets... interesting to say the least.
For instance in Chapter 3, "Determination to Stay on Your Path," Aimiuwu tries to explain the epidemic of the broken black family, and how black women play a role in that.
"Some have been known to use the goodness of freedom and liberty to promote their lonely agendas. Just because they come from a family or culture where men do not stay or come home at all, it has become justification as to why these men are either no-good or worthless. Instead of them to crying their souls up to God and using their prayerful lips to condemn any activity in the spiritual realm that wishes them loneliness, they begin to preach the gospel of single parenthood..." (page 31)
Oh boy.
For fellow black women out there, I don't even have to go into the subtle misogynoir in this context. Why do black men do this? Blaming the plight of the black family on Black women! And this is an black African man saying this! It's one thing for ignorant Black American men to do this, but when non-American blacks do it, it's even more patronizing and belittling. Keep in mind, the family dynamics of black African men and women come with their own slew of issues. For the author to take such a sexist angle and conveniently not address why black fathers are absent from the equation in the first place (often due to the high risks of incarceration, gang violence, and low economic upward mobility in black men) is truly disgusting.
But it gets worse.
"Young girls are often told publicly that they do not need a man, a man will hold them back, and that a man will rape one in every three of them. They are also told that a man is only good for sex, and that they should be prepared and equipped to be a single mom. "
Yep. So again, Black women not only encourage single parenthood, they encourage their daughters to be promiscuous, independent, and wary of men because of the realities of rape. (Also bear in mind, black women are more likely to be sexually assaulted than other races of women). Dripping misogyny aside, this man literally just admitted what he truly thinks black women today are like: Promiscuous, Bitter, and Men-Bashing. I would not be surprised at all if he is also in the camp of men who thinks that Feminism has "Destroyed" the black women and "Divided" them from black men. Because these talking points are used by a lot of anti-feminist, sick men who believe that a woman's only purpose in life should be serving and fulfilling the desires of men.
And that was only 1/3 of the way into his book.
You might wonder, if this is the author's belief on issues within the black community, what might be his overarching conclusion on the moral fallacy in everyday society?
Well, he goes into that, page 100:
"We are not expected to cry about racism, sexism, tribalism, corruption, mismanagement of national resources, police brutality, drugs, bad government, or even wrongful purpose for war. We are supposed to rise above all of these issues and conquer them all.
Ah. The old "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" defense. But is it truly "crying about" racism, sexism, etc. when the realities are, people who are oppressed have to work 10x harder in order to meet the same quality of life and "peace of mind" that the author is preaching about? This statement I found really ignorant.
And then, this:
"The problems of every nation are its allies, their non-modified culture and heritage, and their failure to include God in whatever they do." This is what I mean by oversimplified. The author argues that nations that derail from a morally-high path (that includes God and pioty) will devolve into the chaos that they are, but fails to example of a country that does include God and does meet the standards of "living with a peace of mind?"
Bottom line is, when the author makes statements like this, without any substance or context, it just reads as superfluous and victim-blaming fluff. Black women being the cause of their own demise. Black people needing to "rise above the racism" in order to be where they truly deserve to be. Nations needing to "be with God". All of it sounds great and dandy, until you peel back the layers and realize that you could be the most religious, God-fearing, self-inhibited person and still have a hard life dealt unto you.
Quotes like these made me re-look at the rest of the book with a skeptic eye. I left this book not feeling motivated, but questioning whether Aimiuwu's references to the Bible and to his own personal life were accurate or altered to fit his misconstrued personal beliefs? Though the case can be made every soul interprets Scripture differently, it's important as an author to be credible in their work by throwing harmful personal rhetoric mixed in with literal Biblical scripture. Which is why I'm giving this book 2 stars, instead of perhaps 3. Dangerous, ill-sighted rhetoric under the guise of "self-help" is a recipe for poor advice, and an even poorer reception by your audience. I was disappointed in the path of this book, and I don't think I'll be rereading or using any products of his anytime soon.
****
I came across this book by chance. I didn't actually intend to buy this book; I had bought African chewing sticks on his website, a pack for "$20 plus a free gift", in order to support a fellow African. What I didn't realize though was that the "free" gift that it came with was his book that currently retails on his site for $15, meaning that in reality, I overpaid $15 for a book that I never asked for.
That alone left a bad taste in my mouth before I even picked up the book. But I decided to read it anyways because regardless of the deceitful way the author went about selling his book, I'm always intrigued to read and consume works by African authors. Now onto the review.
*****
REVIEW:
This book is about how to reframe your mindset and lead your life with purpose and Faith in God. The author is a well-read, highly educated and religious Edo-Nigerian man who uses Christ and his cultural values to explain his reasonings. On the surface, it's your typical spiritual self help book, and does well in some things (using an Aesop's Fables - like rhythm to teach the principles of peaceful living with unique retellings of the Bible).
The problem is, most often it also reads as a shortsighted and oversimplified analysis of the Bible in order to support the author's misogynistic and duplicitous views of how society ought to be.
The advice is not unique. We all have heard things like you must "Understand who you really are" and "Have courage to take necessary steps" to achieve our true purpose in life. No issue there.
But when the author tries to segway into explaining the modern issues faced today ... it gets... interesting to say the least.
For instance in Chapter 3, "Determination to Stay on Your Path," Aimiuwu tries to explain the epidemic of the broken black family, and how black women play a role in that.
"Some have been known to use the goodness of freedom and liberty to promote their lonely agendas. Just because they come from a family or culture where men do not stay or come home at all, it has become justification as to why these men are either no-good or worthless. Instead of them to crying their souls up to God and using their prayerful lips to condemn any activity in the spiritual realm that wishes them loneliness, they begin to preach the gospel of single parenthood..." (page 31)
Oh boy.
For fellow black women out there, I don't even have to go into the subtle misogynoir in this context. Why do black men do this? Blaming the plight of the black family on Black women! And this is an black African man saying this! It's one thing for ignorant Black American men to do this, but when non-American blacks do it, it's even more patronizing and belittling. Keep in mind, the family dynamics of black African men and women come with their own slew of issues. For the author to take such a sexist angle and conveniently not address why black fathers are absent from the equation in the first place (often due to the high risks of incarceration, gang violence, and low economic upward mobility in black men) is truly disgusting.
But it gets worse.
"Young girls are often told publicly that they do not need a man, a man will hold them back, and that a man will rape one in every three of them. They are also told that a man is only good for sex, and that they should be prepared and equipped to be a single mom. "
Yep. So again, Black women not only encourage single parenthood, they encourage their daughters to be promiscuous, independent, and wary of men because of the realities of rape. (Also bear in mind, black women are more likely to be sexually assaulted than other races of women). Dripping misogyny aside, this man literally just admitted what he truly thinks black women today are like: Promiscuous, Bitter, and Men-Bashing. I would not be surprised at all if he is also in the camp of men who thinks that Feminism has "Destroyed" the black women and "Divided" them from black men. Because these talking points are used by a lot of anti-feminist, sick men who believe that a woman's only purpose in life should be serving and fulfilling the desires of men.
And that was only 1/3 of the way into his book.
You might wonder, if this is the author's belief on issues within the black community, what might be his overarching conclusion on the moral fallacy in everyday society?
Well, he goes into that, page 100:
"We are not expected to cry about racism, sexism, tribalism, corruption, mismanagement of national resources, police brutality, drugs, bad government, or even wrongful purpose for war. We are supposed to rise above all of these issues and conquer them all.
Ah. The old "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" defense. But is it truly "crying about" racism, sexism, etc. when the realities are, people who are oppressed have to work 10x harder in order to meet the same quality of life and "peace of mind" that the author is preaching about? This statement I found really ignorant.
And then, this:
"The problems of every nation are its allies, their non-modified culture and heritage, and their failure to include God in whatever they do." This is what I mean by oversimplified. The author argues that nations that derail from a morally-high path (that includes God and pioty) will devolve into the chaos that they are, but fails to example of a country that does include God and does meet the standards of "living with a peace of mind?"
Bottom line is, when the author makes statements like this, without any substance or context, it just reads as superfluous and victim-blaming fluff. Black women being the cause of their own demise. Black people needing to "rise above the racism" in order to be where they truly deserve to be. Nations needing to "be with God". All of it sounds great and dandy, until you peel back the layers and realize that you could be the most religious, God-fearing, self-inhibited person and still have a hard life dealt unto you.
Quotes like these made me re-look at the rest of the book with a skeptic eye. I left this book not feeling motivated, but questioning whether Aimiuwu's references to the Bible and to his own personal life were accurate or altered to fit his misconstrued personal beliefs? Though the case can be made every soul interprets Scripture differently, it's important as an author to be credible in their work by throwing harmful personal rhetoric mixed in with literal Biblical scripture. Which is why I'm giving this book 2 stars, instead of perhaps 3. Dangerous, ill-sighted rhetoric under the guise of "self-help" is a recipe for poor advice, and an even poorer reception by your audience. I was disappointed in the path of this book, and I don't think I'll be rereading or using any products of his anytime soon.