I liked this, I think? The author’s note gave this book a lot of clarity that the ending lacked for me. Overall, I enjoyed this honest rambling presentation of how trans people's constant effort and work to manage all the emotional trauma/labour required of them to safely exist in the world right now.

There's a bit when Maria talks about genderqueer people in a completely messed up way.

I keep waffling on how I want to rate this book. It’s a work that feels deeply personal, deeply “of its time,” and like the debut work that it is. I think that “the discourse” (which I say sort-of ironically and in finger-quotes, and sort-of not) around trans issues has necessarily changed enormously since this was written and published— in some positive ways, yes, but also as right-wing groups create bogeyman out of trans people for talking points and cultural control. 

All this to say: when I speak with my friends, these days, about whatever the online manufactured inter-community discourse of the day is, I often find myself saying something like, “I wish there was a way for this conversation to be happening, but just between trans people.” And all that to say: that’s what this book feels like to me, a book about and for and between trans people, a conversation that centers us and particularly trans women. It’s not that I wouldn’t want cis people to read it, and it’s not as though it wouldn’t be accessible to people who are not trans— but it’s for us. That’s its strength and its greatest charm, and I think that’s why I want to take its flaws with a grain of salt and a baseline of good will.

It’s not a perfect book, and not one where I feel I agree with everything that the narrators do or say or think— but hearing the author herself read it, you feel the willingness to be wrong, a self-deprecating awareness that to tell an individual trans persons story isn’t to endorse every aspect of it. There are beats that resonate down to the very core, and throughlines that feel eerily familiar, and flawed gold veins of selfishness that feel raw and real. 

Our main characters are a little to sometimes a lot pathetic and very humanly flawed and variably likeable depending on the day. Our plot meanders and skids and gets knocked off track and never decides to get back on it. Our narration… feels very much like the 2012-2013, first-person forum writing— but I liked listening to it, and the wry sort-of-bashful-sort-of-cocky self awareness of it. There’s a lot of humor and heart here. There’s a lot of frustration, also. I don’t know that I would want to know most of these people; I felt dragged into the spotlight by some of the similarities I felt with them, too. The afterword was one of the best parts— I loved hearing what the author had to say about what the book is about, and her reflections on her own life in regards to the work, and her discussions about the act of crafting it, and what she chose to show and what to leave out. 

Anyway, I didn’t love it the whole way through. Anyway, I couldn’t stop listening. Anyway, I love that it exists. As always, mind the content warnings— mine probably won’t cover it all just because I’ve been noodling around the book itself a little too much.

 wow! lovely. 3 stars, just shy of 4. the writing style wasn't my favorite, and i didn't love all the new york stuff, but the second half of the book, especially the ending, was fantastic. im OBSESSED with the last chapter of this book. the afterword was lovely too and gave me a lot of recommendations to read more stuff [:

At one point in this book, Maria dreams about writing the next great American novel. To an extent, Binnie actualises this dream.

Nevada is one hell of a book depicting two separate yet entwined lives that eventually cross. It's an exploration of American society, relationship, queer spaces both online and off and, of course, transness and the plethora of ways that may manifest.  Above all, its about kinship and expectations that often are never met. 

It's radical, raw, and important, perhaps more than ever. 

Go into it blind, and even better, listen to it blind. The audiobook is phenomenal, read by Binnie herself, but please make sure your headphone connection is good because some sequences - including the 1st chapter - are not what you want your mam to hear. 

But, also, like real life, don't go expecting nice, neat resolutions or plot points. That's not what this book is about and it was never meant to be. 

love books w "unlikable" protagonists n i enjoyed maria a lot as a narrator + loved listening to the added insights from imogen binnie at the end!

Nevada by Imogen Binnie 🚘
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

🚘 The plot: Maria is a trans woman in her thirties, and she's in crisis. Her girlfriend has broken up with her because she's never really present in the relationship, and Maria decides the solution to her predicament is to "borrow" (read: steal) her ex's car and go on a cross-country road trip. On the way, she meets James, a young stoner who is locked in a struggle of his own, and the two form an unlikely connection.

This was lent to me by a friend and it turned out to be my first five star read of the year! Maria was a brilliant protagonist: Binnie lets you right into her head as soon as you open the novel, but doesn't shy away from puncturing the seriousness of her inner monologue, for instance by pointing out that the crisis she's in is actually part of a pattern she hasn't recognised yet.

As well as being really funny, this means you get the benefit of Maria's musings on discovering her own transness while also seeing the bigger picture of her flaws and where she is in her personal growth.

This is thrown into particular relief when Maria meets James. James is questioning his gender and Maria instantly recognises her younger self in him and wants to impart her knowledge. Binnie says in the afterword that her goal with the novel was partly to explore the wish she'd often had that she'd had a "trans fairy godmother" to let her know who she was sooner, and to show that it probably wouldn't have shortened the timeline of her transition.

James and Maria's relationship does this brilliantly, because it shows that being told something by someone else can't deliver the felt truth of it like discovering it for yourself. Nor can imparting past knowledge to someone else help you out of your present confusion. I found this super relatable to all kinds of self-understanding, not only of gender: that all the time we look back on as wasted, when we were denying the truth to ourselves or making ourselves miserable, was actually grist to the mill of who we'd become. No shortcuts in life folks!! We're all taking the long way round!!

I loved this novel and highly recommend it!!

🚘/🚫 Read/ avoid in comments 👇

🚘 Read it if you love a conversational writing style with a sense of humour, discussion of interesting social issues without being preachy, and any novel that discusses self-discovery. Also if you like Torrey Peters as she's cited this book as a big influence!

🚫 Avoid it if you find chaotic/messy main characters a bit of a headache, or if you want there to be a clear plot or ending to your stories. Also check TWs before reading if transition is a sensitive topic for you!