love books w "unlikable" protagonists n i enjoyed maria a lot as a narrator + loved listening to the added insights from imogen binnie at the end!

Nevada by Imogen Binnie 🚘
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🚘 The plot: Maria is a trans woman in her thirties, and she's in crisis. Her girlfriend has broken up with her because she's never really present in the relationship, and Maria decides the solution to her predicament is to "borrow" (read: steal) her ex's car and go on a cross-country road trip. On the way, she meets James, a young stoner who is locked in a struggle of his own, and the two form an unlikely connection.

This was lent to me by a friend and it turned out to be my first five star read of the year! Maria was a brilliant protagonist: Binnie lets you right into her head as soon as you open the novel, but doesn't shy away from puncturing the seriousness of her inner monologue, for instance by pointing out that the crisis she's in is actually part of a pattern she hasn't recognised yet.

As well as being really funny, this means you get the benefit of Maria's musings on discovering her own transness while also seeing the bigger picture of her flaws and where she is in her personal growth.

This is thrown into particular relief when Maria meets James. James is questioning his gender and Maria instantly recognises her younger self in him and wants to impart her knowledge. Binnie says in the afterword that her goal with the novel was partly to explore the wish she'd often had that she'd had a "trans fairy godmother" to let her know who she was sooner, and to show that it probably wouldn't have shortened the timeline of her transition.

James and Maria's relationship does this brilliantly, because it shows that being told something by someone else can't deliver the felt truth of it like discovering it for yourself. Nor can imparting past knowledge to someone else help you out of your present confusion. I found this super relatable to all kinds of self-understanding, not only of gender: that all the time we look back on as wasted, when we were denying the truth to ourselves or making ourselves miserable, was actually grist to the mill of who we'd become. No shortcuts in life folks!! We're all taking the long way round!!

I loved this novel and highly recommend it!!

🚘/🚫 Read/ avoid in comments 👇

🚘 Read it if you love a conversational writing style with a sense of humour, discussion of interesting social issues without being preachy, and any novel that discusses self-discovery. Also if you like Torrey Peters as she's cited this book as a big influence!

🚫 Avoid it if you find chaotic/messy main characters a bit of a headache, or if you want there to be a clear plot or ending to your stories. Also check TWs before reading if transition is a sensitive topic for you!

A fascinating work of art filled with incredible insights into a trans person’s experience, without depicting the transition period (which the author says is a cisnormative concept of how trans people experience it, because it’s not about a switch from one gender to another (because there are more than two; gender is a spectrum)— trans is an identity in itself, full of its own unique experiences and feelings, depicted so honestly in this novel). 
It’s funny and gloomy and insightful and makes you think. Read the new version with the afterword. 

This is really engaging and reflective! I'd definitely recommend it to people who liked Detransition, Baby. I wasn't ready for it to end, especially because my copy had an afterword, so it felt very sudden. But I really appreciated the afterword as well for some context from the author after some time had passed since she wrote it.