“You must remember that most people don’t like to hear when bad things happen. They can tolerate only a little here and there. The bad things must be comestible. If there are too many bad things, they plug their ears and vilify the victim. But a hundred very bad things happened to me. Am I supposed to be quiet? Bear my pain like a good girl? Or shall I be very bad and take it out on the world? Either way I won’t be loved.” // 

i absolutely loved this book. i've always been a fan of stories with flawed and somewhat unlikeable characters. having studied psychology, i'm always searching for the "why?" factor when i hear or read about deviant human behaviour - which particular combination of genes and environmental factors/experiences led to this manifestation? by the end of this novel, all of my questions had been answered, and i felt nothing but compassion for joan. 

NOTE: this book is exceptionally heavy. please review the content warnings to check whether it's right for you. 

Thank you Avid Reader Press and Libro.FM for the ALC in exchange for an honest review.

I had to DNF this one. I made it to 19%, but for my sanity, I refuse to go any further. I *may* try again later with a physical copy.

This one just isn't working for me. I LOVE Emma Roberts as the narrator, but she cannot make up for how annoying the main character is nor how unlikeable/unreliable she is. Also, she's so emotionless that it caused me to raise red flags immediately.

Also....holy disjointed plot. I am still in a realm of confusion. It looks to me that a lot of the story will be based on the main character dehumanizing the traumas people's lives.

How many times does the c u next Tuesday need to be included in one phone call between a mistress and the wife? Honestly? Not as much as it was.

I didn't read her nonfiction, Three Women, and I probably won't now.

This book will obviously work for some people, but it just isn't working for me.

Please be aware of the trigger warnings that people have finished are sharing.

I haven't come across those points in the story yet, but from what I've seen in reviews and on social media - the they are very triggering.

Reading this felt like watching something get murdered on animal planet: wet, grotesque, and in HD. I could not look away. There was a matter-of-factness to Taddeo's language and syntax that made the book feel elegant and freeing. There was so little self-doubt or self-criticism. Joan is real with herself, even if she isn't always real with others. Her history unfolded in a very organic way; associations to objects or phrases brought up memories of the past, which were told in fluid paragraphs, before returning to what seems to be the story's "present." It helped us learn about Joan in a cloying, piecemeal way.

There is a lot of sexual assault content and the use of a character with Down's syndrome as a plot device felt a little off to me, but overall, this novel was so frank and gripping, it was hard to put down. It is the kind of novel you feel in your gut.

P.S. If I remember correctly, there is mention of a racial slur for Black folks, by an old man/problematic grandfather figure, which did not feel necessary to include.