This was a super helpful read to learn about/understand and be better in our relationships with our partners. Definitely worth the read!

I’ve yet to apply a lot of the lessons and exercises, but the mindset and backing of neurobiology and psychology, combined with the aim that people are really trying the best they can in life with what they’ve got — internally and otherwise — is pretty lovely.

I do believe there are aspects of “islands” and “waves” I would have liked to have seen defined more, but for the purposes of the book, perhaps aren’t necessary.

An enlightening read on so many levels. The core pillars of relationship were so helpful. The emphasis on resolving conflict was especially good. Learned so much from that chapter especially.

I appreciate that this book felt more scholarly and more based on neurobiology / biology in general than “Attached”, and the terms island, wave, and anchor have less baggage than avoidant, anxious and secure I feel like. Some sections were more useful than others, and I didn’t realize how much this would be focused on those already in couples (I would have got the other one he has which is more about single folk and how this relates to dating had I known that). But still, some solid things to try one day when I do have a partner to share things with.

There was some very interesting stuff in here, but it focused on the couple to the exclusion of all else - really pushed the 'your partner should fulfill all of your needs' model of relationships.

But the discussion of attachment styles, and how different attachment styles relate to each other was useful, and it has given me some potentially useful tools for use in my own relationships.