An excellent must-read about power in relationships (parent-child, romantic and friendships) that feature narcissistic abuse. An eye-opening and refreshing read that helps identify signs of abuse early; and equips, inspires and advocates for victims/survivors, as well as those who want to care for and support them.

The book is factual, scientific, psychological, nurturing, uplifting. It will be a wake up call for many women (and men) who read it and identify the emotional abuse they are experiencing or have experienced - and it will hopefully pave a way out. (It seems too many people suffer endlessly trying to 'fix' what they think is 'incompatibility' but is actually abuse that has no fix except leaving and going No Contact.) There are also many resources for healing and mental health provided.

Even if you haven't experienced narcissistic abuse (though as you read, you'll probably recognise traits you've seen in others), this book provides tools for life as power forms the heart of inequity and mistreatment. The book is good for supporting others or simply to equip yourself.

if the title resonates, definitely read this

Critical to healing and recovery.

I’m sad this is the last book of Arabi’s that I had left to read because I have read all of the others she has published. I am never disappointed. This one definitely my favorite if I had to choose. I now follow her YouTube and IG lol because I can’t get enough. Her work has saved me and helped me make sense of what I went through and suffering from. I hope she has more books coming out because I think she has more to say

This whole book is written with a lot of compassion; Arabi has been through abuse herself and makes it very clear that abuse is not the victim's fault, that it has lasting effects, and that we are all resilient and powerful enough to come out stronger on the other end (with a lot of work).

The most useful chapter was on the neuroscience of being in a toxic relationship, but I think it might have been even more helpful to have that essay at the beginning of the book rather than at the end. I know very little about neuroscience, but Arabi broke it down at a very accessible level to help me understand our choices and feelings at a chemical/hormonal level.

I was annoyed by the inconsistent gender pronouns in this book -- sometimes Arabi would use 'he' for the abuser and 'she' for the victim but then other times would say 'he (or she).' I definitely would have appreciated if she had just used 'they' for both the abuser and the survivor. I also got the sense that, while each individual essay was edited well, it wasn't edited as a whole book, meaning that essays got repetitive toward the end.

Overall, this book was incredibly informative. If you have been in a close relationship with someone emotionally abusive, this book could be a helpful part of your healing process. If your close friend has been through emotional abuse, then this book could help you be a more empathetic friend to them.