this put me on a book slump after (traumatized💀)

This book was mostly read due to Elliasreads bringing it to my attention. i honestly relate to what he said pretty much. I read it and the writing is engaging but the story was kinda alright? i know it's a taboo subject but i still didn't enjoy the ending, not sure what I was hoping for but lol here we are.

 There is a disturbing beauty to this book. Although the events and actions of the two eldest children are immoral, and illegal as this book points out on multiple occasions, the writing and the characterisation is almost perfection.
Lochan and Maya are fully formed characters. Suzuma's depiction of Lochan is especially incredible, the descriptions of panic attacks and his social anxieties are some of the best I've ever come across. The issues depicted, from the teenage drug use and alcoholic mother to the abandonment and eventually incestuous relationship seem very real and are not used in any way to provide surface level shock value. This book definitely challenges readers who understand completely that Lochan and Maya's relationship is wrong and cannot be allowed to happen. The circumstances of their family relationships and their relationship with one another do seem to connected, with them having a conversation at one point suggesting if their family was more 'normal' would they have erotic feelings for each other.
I have seen multiple reviews questioning the main message of the novel. What I gathered from reading this book is that children who are neglected and are forced into adult/parental roles too quickly do perceive the world around them differently to others. Lochan and Maya's attitudes towards keeping their siblings out of care is commendable but far too much to have on their shoulders as 17 and 16 year olds. Their relationship is clearly wrong but so much of their life already is that they are unable to distinguish the two.
I will say the reason that this book does not receive a full five stars from me is the depiction of the more intimate scenes- a no go really. Also Maya's insistence that her and Lochan aren't 'really biological brother and sister' because they don't feel like they are was off-putting and didn't need to be brought up so much.

A highly uncomfortable read but one that is exceptionally powerful. 

I wish I never read this book because there’s nothing on earth that can top how moved I felt whilst reading it. 

It’s a challenging subject, but the portrayal of the characters Lochan and Maya and the love that they share is phenomenal. It’s beyond the boundaries of words the love and soul bonding relationship that they share.

It may be off putting, and very taboo, but I have never read love so raw and strong in a book and I am totally captivated by the writing, characters, and plot. I have never been so moved by a book in my life! It got me out of a 5 year reading slump.

Ignore all the other reviews and read it, it changed the course of my life. Sounds over dramatic (which it probably is) but after lockdown I became quite depressed and felt very alone and this book made me feel warm again. And if you’re a sad sop like me then you will cry bucket full volumes of tears because this book really makes you cry.

The ending is very dark 

it’s not a happy ending

  if you are uncomfortable with the trigger warning below please don’t read the book!