Totally captivating. Chow weaves tenses and stories and social analysis, and yet, manages to keep us in the through line. It’s as much an exploration of her family and thereby herself as it is a commentary on American culture at large, overlaid with the lens of an immigrant family experience. She touches on so many topics I think about regularly (continuing bonds after a death, how to write memoir when memories are so fickle, the way societal conditioning shapes our everyday experience) and did so with curiosity, humility, and a raw human-ness.

Seeing Ghosts was a heartbreakingly beautiful novel. Read by the author, Kat Chow, the reader was given insight into so many different aspects of a family. From losing a mother at a young age to growing up with immigrant parents, Chow has created a beautiful novel that should be required reading about children of immigrants.

I found this memoir to be a very touching - and direct and a bit macabre - examination of grief and loss and how they shape us as individuals and families. Kat's writing helped me reflect on the ways that loss can reverberate for years and across generations, great distances, and cultural expanses.

I really enjoyed the way that the book also engaged with the family's history: from her parents' upbringing in China as communism takes hold, to the connections with the Chinese diaspora in Cuba, to the experiences of migration to the US. All of this brought another layer of depth to the story and also added much meaning and perspective.

But do bring Kleenex! (I made the mistake of reading the scene where the author's mother comes off a ventilator on the one year anniversary of my grandmother dying in the same way. There was a lot of ugly crying and I was in a public place. Whoops.)

This book was at its best when the focus was on the author’s relationship with her father, when she was focused on the dynamics of those living. Also when tracing the ways she and her own father unconsciously sought connections with other family members. Apart from that, there was not enough keeping me interested in this book.

I’ve no doubt that the author’s story she tells about her mother’s death matters to her. But she didn’t make it matter enough to readers. I would’ve enjoyed this more if it were shorter and focusing more on the living. Perhaps if this started with her and her father and then wove in her lasting grief over her mother later in the book, it would’ve resonated with me. After all, there are some gems of insight here and there. They’re just buried in the moments I was less interested in.

2.5 stars?

4.5 stars

such a good book made me cry many times

A haunting and compelling look at the effect of grief on a family. Having listened to a lot of Kat Chow through her work on NPR, I enjoyed listening to her tell her sorry through the audio book.