To (mis)quote Mark Kermode, I'd rather see someone try to do something original and miss the mark than for them to play it safe. 
They were bits of this book that worked brilliantly. The main character with a limited amount of money to spend before he plans to kill himself. The abrupt ends to some of the chapters followed by the bank balance. Even the very hit and miss flights of imagery and philosophy sometimes really hit the mark.
But there was so much that just didn't make sense.
<Spoiler>why did Pastor Baptiste kill himself out of nowhere. Why did Michael come back? Why did the headteacher not say a thing when he clearly gives her the speech of a desperate man? Why was Dwayne killed, why was Michael jealous of Jalil's sham marriage? Why does Belle compare compare Michael favourably to a woman, for him to behave exactly like a stereotypical man in the very next chapter. Also, man falls deeply in love with sex worker and then tells her to stop doing her job...I think that was the point I really checked out. What was the Mr Barnes subplot about? there were hints at some really important themes like alienation from heritage, the devastation of war, the expectation and the sacrifice of parents. They were never fully developed.  I didn't feel like I understood why Michael felt the was way he did. I know there doesn't have to be a why, but it felt like there were contributing factors that were ignored. 
I did get a real sense of distance and dissociation. It made Michael behave despicably particularly towards the women in his life. But maybe that was the message. 
All in all interesting and ambitious but a bit of a frustrating read. 

The writing is beautiful and poetic. 

I received a copy of this book in exchange for a review.

This is the character driven story of a young Congolese man, Michael, living in London. He and his family were refugees, but he has been in London for a long time. His father is dead and he lives with his mother. He teaches English in a high school. He is not happy with the way his life is going and wants a change, so he takes all of his savings and heads to Los Angeles. This is where his story begins, but it does not end there. 

This book flips between a chapter taking place in the present and a chapter taking place in the past and providing background information to help us better understand what is going on in his life. I wasn't sure I would like it when I started, so if you feel the same way, I suggest you stick to it. It was very confusing at first, and I didn't even realize it was the same guy in all of the chapters, but it became clearer. The story is wonderful and it seems very dark, but it really is touching and I felt so much for Michael. 

*****You should first BE VERY AWARE of your own mental health before reading this book. It is hard to read when you are in a good head space, so please keep that in mind. *****

Wow! JJ Bola is an amazing writer! The words just flow and he has a beautiful way of expressing his feelings. The Selfless Act Of Breathing, is simply put, beautifully written. 

All that being said, it is one hard book to read. You need to be in the right frame of mind to read this book, and even if you are strong mentally, this story will bring you down. It will show you just how a lonely and depressed person feels and how their mind works. 

Michaels life is all over the place, or at least that is how it seems. He knows what it feels like to be happy or sad. But mostly he moves thru life in an ambivalent state of mind. He has friends and colleagues that he is somewhat close to, but most of the time he can't bring himself to be there for them. This is Michael... This is his life... 

Michael is a teacher in London. His family immigrated to London when he was little. He has become despondent. He is only halfway present when he is teaching, he shows up late, he doesn't answer emails and he has become increasingly absent in his relationships with his friend Sandra, Jalil and his mom. JJ Bola touches on those relationships, but he does so in such a way that shows how a person with mental illness thinks. So the person in the book you get to know is Michael, not necessarily all the other people he knows or comes in contact with. 

Michael decides to quit his job, take all the money he has and go to America. And once all his money is gone he is going to kill himself. He is tired of life, tired of being sad, so he makes plans for this trip.  He is going to start in California and just go where he wants. While on this trip he meets many different people, does things he has never done before. But he is still sad, but now his plans of spending all his money and killing himself are becoming real. Will he do it?? 

This book goes back and forth between timelines. The author tells you the place at the beginning of each chapter but doesn't tell you the date, so at first it was confusing for me. I think the author does this on purpose to show how the mind of a  person, who suffers from crippling depression, thinks. The chapters that are in America end with the amount of money Michael has left, so the closer you get to the end the more anxious you feel and you can feel it in the writing as well. Definitely a 4.5⭐ book. 

Now for the big ending. Does Michael kill himself? I am not sure how to interpret the end of the book. The end of the book ( at least for me) could be interpreted in two ways. 

1) Michael came home to his mom and everything is fine. The reason I struggle with this is because Michael has no money left and as far as I could tell did not book a round trip ticket since he was going to kill himself. So how did he get home???

2) The end of the book is back in London with Michaels mom. She is despondent knowing that he son went on a trip and plans to kill himself. She distances herself from the man (a preacher) who she was going to marry. She gets more and more sad, doesn't get out of bed, but then there is a knock at the door and it is Michael. Now I think Michaels mom also kills herself and only sees Michael after that she does that. 

I could be reading the ending all wrong. Like I said there are a bunch of unanswered questions, and I think it was meant to be that way. There is always unanswered questions when someone commits suicide. 

Thank you to Netgalley, Atria Books and JJ Bola for the eARC of this in exchange for my honest opinion.