“Our son is going to get his ADHD assessment this week, finally.” I told Elrena this while we were working on the latest edition of Paper&String many months ago, and she immediately said, “Then I think you need to see this before it’s out in the world…” and sent me some sections from Special Grace, including A Prayer for A Diagnosis. I hadn’t even finished the first line before I’d teared up, it was exactly what I needed: to feel SEEN and understood. To know we weren’t the first, nor the last to go through this process.

As a member of her launch team, I was able to get an advanced copy of the whole book, and slowly made my way through the vulnerable and sometimes hilarious journey Elrena led us on in it, and sat with so many of the prayers that I could now say “yes, our family is here” for. Her words gave me words for things I couldn’t name myself. I found inclusion into this community as I recognized ways we too were navigating what her family was, even though the outcomes and diagnosis and severity may differ, the questions and fears were much the same. There is something freeing in the naming of things, giving shape to things that live in the dark in our minds, on the edges, that we can’t fight until we can see its form.

Months went by and I couldn't finish writing my review, and I didn't know why until I started my own journey of pursuing an ADHD diagnosis as an adult. Now that I, too, finally have my own diagnosis for ADHD, I can finally finish this review because I can explain how this book continues to minister to MY soul, as parent with ADHD AND a child with ADHD, and another child who we are on a journey to get a diagnosis for as well. How the grace of community is extended to any who fall under the vast spectrum of those who don’t measure up to what is considered “normal” in our society. That I now felt seen, understood, that hope and joy had been extended for us as our family starts navigating all the ways we will have to live with ADHD, treat parts of it where it’s possible, and learn how to better interact with each other and the world around us.

This book can walk us through joy, grief, acceptance, learning, and all the myriad responses to parts of life as a special needs family. Shame can’t survive in the light, and this book brings the shame we feel as parents or children who keep telling ourselves we SHOULD be able to do this or that, and instead tell us that we can only do so much, then we need to just rest and just accept and just learn grace. Special grace, given one day at a time. No easy answers, maybe no happy endings, sometimes no solutions, but always grace.

Those without special needs who want to better understand those in their communities who are, will find a glimpse into the ways that life for special needs families is both hard and beautiful. Entering into that story can develop grace towards those, for understanding the weight of effort on those families to live and move in their communities. Special Grace shows the ways that we special needs humans are another kind of “thin place” in this world where God is visible more fully to us AND through us, where glory can be seen if you stop to look with keen eyes and your whole soul. Where God’s grace for humanity is seen more fully.

My favorite thing about this book is the authenticity with which the author shares her short vignettes and the honesty of her prayers. As a special needs mom of 2, I can relate in some way to all of her stories, but my favorite story in the book is the last one she tells. I think what will stay with me is the prayers over every single detail that pepper the book at the end of each chapter. It's a great place to start surrendering.