Reviews tagging 'Blood'

Fifty Shades of Gorgosaur by Lola Faust

3 reviews

tacochelle's review

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dark funny fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Plot
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.0

Thanks to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for the ARC.

Fifty Shades of Grey, but replace the asshole billionaire with a dinosaur. He is just a dino, doesn't even talk. Along with a literal thirst for goats and abusive exes, he also has a thirst for... naughtier things. It's entertaining enough, exactly what it says it's gonna be.

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jen01l's review

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1.0

Utterly ridiculous! So many grammatical and spelling errors, anatomical impossibilities and plot inconsistencies! Weird descriptions for anatomy. Trigger warnings are absolutely hilarious! A bizarre twist at the end. Feels like the main character is a little mentally unstable! 

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seitenweise_jenny's review

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funny medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? N/A
  • Strong character development? N/A
  • Loveable characters? N/A
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

1.5

This book was wild. 
A previous Christian girl next door - still a virgin - goes on to live all her weird sex fantasies ?!
Fifty Shades of Grey with 0 story but he's a dinosaur.šŸ¦–
There was also a goat. And an orgy.
Ofc she also had an inner "tigress" 

Iā€™m a virgin,ā€ sheā€™d whisper, just like the girl in the porno. For her, unlike the plastic actress, it was true. But Alessandra knew that, given the opportunity, her inner tigress would claw her way out of the Bible-study basement in her soul and get herself speared like a hot dog at a beach barbeque.

I've never seen so many funny words for sex organs šŸ˜‚
l of veins that curved gently into folds that looked almost organic, like the fleshy petals of the most beautiful flower, the one between the legs

The huge prehensile tongue that had lapped so fervently at her soaked and dripping love-tunnel gate, the heat and hunger from him that had flowed through her body like lava and erupted into an orgasm that felt volcanicā€¦

her, stroking the entirety of her sex with her tongue as if her open love-portal was a delicious pussy-flavoured soft-serve ice cream.

clit as a teaseā€¦ and then tongued slow circles around Ms. Hammondā€™s ecstasy-button, 

This was an all-natural, in-the-flesh, prehistoric-but-apparently-not, ribbed-for-her-pleasure-and-also-probably-for-evolutionary-reasons reptilian cock that belonged to a billionaire who was paying her more than a million dollars a year to bring her to ecstatic heights that she hadnā€™t known existed.

Her own pussy was a spring of eternal lust

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