This was the book club pick for October and I loved it. That might be an understatement, this book alone justifies an entire year of meh picks and really highlights the value of reading books that are off of your radar. To my eye this is nearly a perfect book, it's got rollercoaster pacing, true-to-life dialogue, humor in spades, and the most cohesive/tight plotting of anything that I've read this year (and I finished The Culture this year). I cannot believe that outside of some technical manuals, this is Scott Hawkins' debut; this is a first try that has left me in awe.

Before I dive in I usually do this for books that need one: Here is your mature content warning, this book has basically every possible trigger under the sun, there's graphic murder and gore, rape and sexual assault, there's mass murder and violence to animals.

The story revolves around Carolyn, one of several orphans taken in by a mysterious and god-like figure known as Father. Each child is assigned a specific catalog of knowledge to master, and Carolyn's domain is the Library, a place that houses unimaginable secrets and powers. When Father goes missing, the children, now adults with god-like abilities, must confront the mysteries of the library and the past. If the summary left you glossy-eyed and uninterested I can't blame you, but this is one of those books that the blurb on the jacket won't ever be able to do justice to.

As I draft this review I think I've written the phrase "unlike anything i've ever read" at least a hundred times only to delete and rephrase as I think about it a little more. The thing is that there are works that are similar to this in premise, atmosphere, or tone; examples from my list are The Umbrella Academy, Vol. 1: Apocalypse Suite, The Wasp Factory, The Book of the New Sun. But from a writing standpoint, this book is wholly unique, I saw it written in another review and I cannot help but agree, that reading this book is an exercise in trusting the author.

So let's talk about the writing for a second. This is a complex and challenging book, it's non-linear in structure and the story is fragmented, with flashbacks interspersed every few chapters to drip-feed the reader the backstory and context. There is a distinct feeling of unreliability in the narration, reading this gave me the sense that I never once had the complete picture and that there was something truly horrible looming just over the horizon. If you're someone who reads a lot of fiction that sense of mystery and unease usually dissolves as you get a sense of what type of story is being told, but that moment is never within reach in this novel. Just when you think you've figured out the rules of the world, Hawkins throws in a curveball that leaves you questioning everything.

Part of that unpredictability is rooted in the characters, and we have a whole host of eccentric and terrifying characters, not least of all the main character, Carolyn. All I can really say is that she is one scary-ass lady. As more of her is revealed in each increasingly horrible flashback the tension of this book ratchets up another notch as you piece together the plot and Carolyn's role in the story. It's not just Carolyn, this book reveals more and more facets of each of its characters; the more we know the more we have to take into account the effects of the horror and brutality of their upbringing. Characters that you thought you knew can change completely with a simple revelation, all of their actions and your reckoning of them completely upended and leaving you blown away in the chaotic swirl.

I don't want to paint this book as overly serious and dark, Hawkins is a master at pairing levity with horror. As much as this book made me wince and shift uncomfortably it made me laugh out loud at just how fun all this madness can be. This story jumps from one horror to another but he never fails to use humor expertly as a relief valve; the president could be beheaded in one paragraph and his head would blow raspberries and kisses in the next. Much of the humor is in the banter and dialogue which I also loved, Hawkins writes these absolutely wacky characters but gives them frank and believable dialogue with much of the humor being couched in absurdity and wit.

I've got two closing notes and that's a wrap. The first is that I loved how direct the prose was in this book, this isn't to say there is an absence of beautiful and flowery language because there is but it's only used when appropriate. The majority of this book is direct and brutal, people don't get shot or pierced through, people get "Half their guts blown out" or get their "heart and lungs obliterated, sending a good bit of tissue out a fist-sized hole in his back". The second note is that I loved the ending, it felt like every little puzzle piece fell into place and the things I took note of were addressed in a complete and satisfying way.

TL;DR: The best description I can give is that there's a team of super kids with an unfathomable and terrifying father, intense flashes of violence and mayhem paired with dark humor, and non-linear dream-ish storytelling. 

A very slow start. I didn’t really care about Steve’s chapters to begin with, but as the story started coming together everything started feeling more interesting. The epilogue was perhaps unnecessary, but it still felt like it added a little something to the end.

This book was strange as hell. And needs to have *all* the trigger warnings.

This story is sweeping, creating an entire world and mythology you have to piece together. I really enjoyed how Hawkins laid out information bit by bit for you to pick up, and how gory and descriptive his writing is. Brutal at times, hopeful at times too. 

This was a well written story, but it’s not something I enjoyed. The vibes were just so terrible, I wanted to throw up a few times. It was as if Scott Hawkins heard the phrase “until the room stinks” and wanted to literally infuse that into the very core of the book. 

The best part of the book, for me, was the resolution to the mystery of what happened to Father. It seemed like a great conclusion, only to find out I still had ~150 pages left. I know part of the premise is Carolyn finding her humanity again, but since that arch is set after the climax of finding out about Father, the juxtaposition in tone of these two parts seemed very strange to me and made me enjoy the last quarter a lot less. 

I really dislike using r*p* as character development and this book uses that a little bit. So hated that. Also kind of hated throwing sex/peens in the story too. Like no I didn't need to know that one character could not get erect no matter how much the other character involved tried in any level of detail, but here we are.

Also wasn't a fan of making a large portion of carolyn's motivation being her romantic crush

. 
But overall the book was okay. Super slow going, but the idea was good. I understand needing quite a bit of the back stories leading up to the present time now that I've finished it, but while reading, it made the story drag on a little. It also kind of feels like a couple ideas were thrown together that didn't get fully fleshed out, but the main thing of the book is

creating/raising/training a god or a god-like being. It also really embodies the meme "I want to punch god in the face"

. People are saying it's weird but I didn't find it so much as it was just kind of graphic.