Eve is loveable and I believe her tug back and forth, her son is rightly awful but I surprised myself by seeing and minding his heart, however deep. At times read as white feminism but I guess that’s the point; to reach those further from touchy subjects and draw them just a bit closer. Would have loved it to be longer and dip further into everyone’s stories, losing Amanda felt bereaving but I guess it did to Eve too. (My most analytic review yet, strange? Not sure what that says.) Ate it in a day and a half, will probably eat again. 

This book had a bit of a boomerang effect for me: I thoroughly enjoyed the process of reading it - I plowed through it inside 24 hours - but, upon reflection, found it rang  hollow. It takes on several tantalizing and complex issues: the patriarchy and gender constructions as well as enforcement, abandonment wounds, neurodiversity, etc. It earns a star, alone, for its reflections upon the gender dynamics of a hetero blowjob (by a male author) that encourages change for the better. 

Perhaps it is my endless optimism that drove my initial hope that this book qualifies as a white dude’s attempts to engage his compatriots in assisting in the dismantling of the patriarchy and is not, instead, a (relatively depressing) meditation on its staying power. Despite some inspiring passages, the scales ultimately tip toward the latter scenario. The enduring nature of the patriarchy shines through in the successful publishing of a book depicting a 40-something woman’s attempt to define herself as a person . . . in ways that arise thoroughly from masculine assumptions and approaches (

getting a new haircut; engaging in a threesome with two younger people, one of whom is her female subordinate at work and the other is the barely-legal, male, former target of her son’s bullying; chatting up bartenders; following the advice of listicles and marshaling friends for a “girls night”, a la Sex in the City; and surfing porn

) and result in her finding herself in exactly the configuration in which she lost herself:

married, caring for her husband, and with her son living at home

. Shockingly (lolz), the close of the book finds her defined, even by those closest to her, by her relationship to the men she is designated to help or support in all facets of their being - still a woman to be consumed for male pleasure or benefit - just like her namesake.

Her lack of evolution could be explained by the general human attraction to what is comfortable and, at first blush, that seems plausible. However, there is not a women in the book who is existing for herself; every female character is explicitly in service to a man or her greater community, except the elderly bowlers (presumably devoid of sexual utility . . . because patriarchy):

working as a social worker or otherwise caring for an aspect of the community, teaching boys/men not to be dehumanizing a**holes and/or see their privilege, cooking for them, servicing them sexually

. This reality underscores the truly patriarchal lens of this novel. For the bros out there taking some initial steps toward self awareness, I,’ll grant that this is an accessible starting point that they are most likely to hear. However, for those out there who already understand that the patriarchy hurts everyone and needs to go, perhaps you slot something else into your TBR instead of this thing.