This book is about passion and holding on with both hands to what you are passionate about even if it’s an embarrassing addiction to Benedict Cumberbatch. I recently became a mother myself and have felt, like the author, that I spend much of my day doing mom math and taking care of my baby to the point that I don’t even notice that I don’t think about my hobbies or passions. I like how she also points out that you can have any passion you want, be it horse obsession, vampire books (Twi-moms),  collecting rocks, etc. A lot of women are hesitant to share their passions/hobbies and think they are in the wrong when they do obsess over something that isn’t their family but much of that can be blamed by, like many things, sexism and the patriarchy. No one thinks a man with sports banners up in his office is weird but a woman with a Benedict cumberbatch calendar/mouse pad must have questionable sanity. 

I wonder how the Cumberbitches are dealing with Barbados suing his family over slavery reparations 2🐧

As Tabitha Carvan states, this is not a book about the titular Mr Cumberbatch, although he does feature heavily (especially in the appendix, *wink wink*, *nudge nudge*).

The book is about women (including LGBTQIA+ folks to a certain degree, but I'll leave that to more experienced people than myself to judge this), and how they have frequently been derided and sneered at for the things they love, while in comparison, the things that men love are taken seriously and seen as worthy ("boys will be boys", anyone?).

As well as describing her own experiences in coming to terms with her own love for Benedict Cumberbatch, Carvan takes a serious look at why the things that bring women pleasure are seen as lesser. One of the things she does to explore this topic is she interviews Benedict fans of all stripes, find out why they love this man, and how they express that love both on the Internet and in real life (or not, in some cases).

She also takes a look at the topic of women's interests through an academic lens, which was fascinating (and validating!) to read about. The book breezed along at a steady pace, although I found the parts where Carvan discusses her experience of motherhood a bit slow.

Overall, an engaging, enlightening read. Go forth and love the things you love!

I loved a few of the chapters, but I couldn't relate to a lot of it and decided to move on to a new book.

I wasn't sure about this book going in, but I really enjoyed it, and I think it could be a very transformative read for a lot of people. It's truly not about Benedict Cumberbatch (even if you feel like it might be based on the preface). It's more like a feminist manifesto on loving what you love, on female joy, and on not feeling guilty or stressed about doing things that are purely for your own pleasure. It's about a woman's journey to not being embarrassed by things that are deemed silly or cringey or "girly" by others, and about learning why those things are not only okay, but important.

As someone who's been a nerd unafraid of seeming cringey for pretty much forever, I wouldn't have thought I'd get a lot out of this book to be honest, but I'm really glad I read it. For one, Carvan overthinks this whole identity crisis to such a degree that she talks to experts in various fields, and the things she learns from them were fascinating. She also frames the central questions of the book in so many ways; I think no matter who you are, you'll learn something from this book.

Honestly I mostly wish men would read this. Like, it's mostly about the author's personal journey, and it's an entertaining and easy read, but it also explains so much of the struggles women (and in many cases nonbinary people, and anyone either perceived or raised as a woman) go through that men don't, in a way that I think would be good for them to read.

I took a lot of screenshots and notes while reading this, and enjoyed it a lot more than I expected. And not gonna lie, it also made me want to watch Sherlock. 

Thank you to Netgalley and Putnam Books for the chance to read and review this ARC.