This book had a few flaws for me. First, some of the writing was a bit much - “a beautiful bounce pass”? How can a bounce pass even be considered beautiful? And another thing that irritated me was when random things would remind her of the year before her dad died. It was kind of like the author kept trying to tie that in, but it felt forced.

I found myself not tabbing this book as much as my other books, which isn't a good sign (not to say I tab every good book - I have exceptions).

I will say though, that this is for those that like the chicklit side of YA, with only slightly heavier themes.

First off, Emilie.

She is disabled; she has epilepsy. But she was a really unsympathetic character to me. She moped around all the time (and I understand she was dealt a shitty hand in life, but that's no excuse for half of the things she does). And she does somewhat learn not to judge people, but the extremeness that she did was awkward to read.

She also makes life really hard for her grieving single mom, which I don't appreciate. She is also self-aware of this, which doesn't excuse her for doing it though.

I liked Ayla, one of the friends she makes at school - much to her shock. She's an artist, and she's been hurt, but that doesn't stop her from caring about Emilie even when the girl makes it hard.

Chatham was a typical YA love interest, so I guess he'd be dreamy to other readers lol. Not to say that he didn't have any substance as a character, but there wasn't much that stood out to me.

Emilie paints Maddie as a stereotypical mean girl, which I don't love because its 2018 and we need to stop with that mess. I don't know if she was even meant to be like that as a character, but that's how she's painted, which I don't think is fair. We don't even find out anything "redeeming" about her until like the very end, if you could even call a one sentence reveal that.

I will say that I did connect with a lot of the parts that dealt with grief and losing a parent, because I've been through that.

I don't have any comment on the representation of her epilepsy or homeschool experience, because I have none.

I do also appreciate the acknowledgement that it's really easy to fake progress to your therapist, which sucks. I do see a trend of the Useless Therapist Trope (which I'm also guilty of), and that's either a terrible representation of mental health (be it progressive or not), and/or if it's based on actual experience, that's probably even worse.

HOWEVER, there is a brief moment where Emilie is suicidal and tries to drown herself in the ocean, which I was not prepared for, and you must read that at your own risk. I believe there should have been some type of warning for that part.

All in all, this book wasn't for me. I wasn't a fan, but I could see other people really enjoying it as a good YA contemporary story with heavier elements

SO GOOD. I'm also hooked on contemporary haha :DD

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- EMILY DICKINSON! just a lot of emily dickinson everywhere! I loved it!
- homeschool rep
- epilepsy rep
- Emily was a sweet character! friendless, totally stay-at-home, best-friends-with-her-dog, very studious and bookish.... sorta stereotypical for homeschoolers (#sigh) but it did fit her situation so I'm not gonna complain this time.
- Chatham York was all goodness and sunshine and loveableness but honestly a tiny bit too cliche and boring for his role as love interest -_- why are all the book boys cut out of the literal same cardboard?????
- moving on...
- a LOVABLE DOG
- facing your fears
- stepping out of your box
- falling down and getting up again and holding on and letting go
- various kinds of hardships and brokenness
- as if the author was saying ~ you're not alone, everyone is troubled in their own way ~
- A LITTLE GIRL TAUGHT EMILEE SO MUCH
- high school is shown as a good thing (#surprisesurprise #thankyou)
- uplifting and gripping!!!

Very cute and easy read finished it within a day!!

I expected this book to be more emotionally powerful than it was. But it was all very...woe-is-me. I just had higher expectations.

So I have mixed feelings about this book. As someone living with epilepsy, I was both ecstatic to read a book which had an epileptic as the protagonist. At the same time, I feel like the book often fell into stereotypes and (at times) misrepresented what it is like to be epileptic. There was a quote in the book when the protagonist was getting ready for her date and her friend was showing her a glittery dress. A comment like “that dress was so shiny it could induce a seizure” was made. This is pulling from the “flashing lights” stereotype - which is very much a thing for some people with epilepsy, but not all.

I did like that the author included decent seizure first aide, especially since many people don’t know what to do (some people still think tongue depressants are needed … big no no). I also felt like the anxieties surrounding the protagonist about her epilepsy (constantly worrying if she would have a seizure, not feeling like she could tell others, etc) were spot on (again, for me, but maybe not for others with epilepsy). Something I would like to just point out to anyone reading this and thinking “she has seizures, why not tell people? It’s for her own safety?” — the simple answer to this question is that no one likes to feel othered. Some people can go very long periods of time without having seizures or even remain seizure free for the majority of their lives. Other epileptics have multiple seizures a day or even per hour. I am not saying I have the answer, I am just saying that this discussion isn’t so simple.

Finally, I wish the protagonist spoke about the effects of anticonvulsants. They make you sleepy and drowsy and irritable (again, it changes person to person, but there are always some side effects).

All in all, I’m glad I read it and I am glad that the representation is there. I do think anyone reading this should definitely take it with a grain of salt when it comes to the aspects of the book that concern themselves with epilepsy. I thought the characters were generally likable and well developed and the plot was ok. Decent read !