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milesjmoran's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Death, Hate crime, Homophobia, Sexism, Terminal illness, Police brutality, Grief, and Lesbophobia
Moderate: Excrement and Vomit
m4rtt4's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
My grandma should read this.
This book really evoked emotions in me, so much so that I had to rate it 'challenging' because the main character's stubborn homophobia really irked me at times. The story is sad, yet very realistic, and it feels so surreal that this kind of (institutional) discrimination is rather mild when compared globally, as homosexuality is already legal in South Korea.
I think the narrative of a homophobic mother was a great idea, as it forces the reader to step in her shoes — not that it made me understand her, but I couldn't dismiss her feelings either as she wasn't just a one-dimensional hater. It also showed how some people deem themselves as good people: despite the mother actively helping the sick and elderly, she couldn't give her own daughter the same treatment just because she was a lesbian. I still wanted her to have more character development than just going from disgust to tolerance — she still couldn't quite accept the situation in the end, but it does go well with the sad reality, though...
This book really evoked emotions in me, so much so that I had to rate it 'challenging' because the main character's stubborn homophobia really irked me at times. The story is sad, yet very realistic, and it feels so surreal that this kind of (institutional) discrimination is rather mild when compared globally, as homosexuality is already legal in South Korea.
I think the narrative of a homophobic mother was a great idea, as it forces the reader to step in her shoes — not that it made me understand her, but I couldn't dismiss her feelings either as she wasn't just a one-dimensional hater. It also showed how some people deem themselves as good people: despite the mother actively helping the sick and elderly, she couldn't give her own daughter the same treatment just because she was a lesbian.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Hate crime, Homophobia, Terminal illness, Medical content, Dementia, Lesbophobia, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Death and Violence
annabella's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Need to reread. Fast paced yet challenging to read in a way because of the narration being so critical. But that’s what made it interesting too; as someone who is not a mother. Would have loved to get more into the emotion of it but felt the pace of the book and the emotional vulnerability that the character didn’t let herself get into stopped me from getting in too deep. Also found the lack of quotation marks v hard to read . But I think on a re read this could go up in my rating
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death and Homophobia
Moderate: Excrement
karolinak's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
An interesting book about empathy and lack of it. The main character feels a lot of empathy for an old lady she cares for at a nursing home, going out of her way to ensure better treatment for her. At the same time, she can't find it in herself to feel the same empathy for her own daughter, who is gay, which she disapproves of to such a degree she's completely in denial about it. It's difficult to read the homophobia in the book, the main character's treatment of her daughter's partner who is perhaps the kindest character in the story.
There's interesting ponderings on family here too. 'Traditional' family model is the only family model the main character acknowledges. Found family of friends or same sex families are constructs she sees as lesser than, bound to break apart. Which is interesting, since her homophobia has distanced her from her daughter.
I have complicated feelings about the main character. She's a product of the cultural setting she is in, her upbringing. She cares about her daughter deeply, but can't or won't let go of her ideas of a life she imagined for her, making herself and their relationship miserable. Every parent must struggle with this to a degree as their children become adults, their own individual people, hopefully most deal with it better.
There's interesting ponderings on family here too. 'Traditional' family model is the only family model the main character acknowledges. Found family of friends or same sex families are constructs she sees as lesser than, bound to break apart. Which is interesting, since her homophobia has distanced her from her daughter.
I have complicated feelings about the main character. She's a product of the cultural setting she is in, her upbringing. She cares about her daughter deeply, but can't or won't let go of her ideas of a life she imagined for her, making herself and their relationship miserable. Every parent must struggle with this to a degree as their children become adults, their own individual people, hopefully most deal with it better.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Death, Homophobia, and Dementia
Moderate: Excrement
lizlikesfrogs's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
A great read. It reminded me of the stories my mom used to tell me from when she worked at a hospice back home. The way end-of-life care is commodified and seen as an arnous task is so real. Patients are often looked as nothing more than "things", which is heartbreaking. The parallels between the MOM and Daughter were so well done and expressed. I liked the fact that the Mom was honest at the end and said that she might not understand Lane's and her daughter's way of life, but at least she began to acknowledge what they had together which is a great step in combating her own inner h*m*phobia.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Dementia, Medical trauma, Lesbophobia, and Gaslighting
szuum's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Hate crime, Homophobia, and Lesbophobia
Moderate: Confinement, Excrement, Medical content, Dementia, and Grief
Minor: Forced institutionalization
henriediosa's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Homophobia, and Dementia
Moderate: Medical content and Abandonment
Minor: Death of parent
thewordsdevourer's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
3.0
concerning my daughter is a reflective read that ruminates on the status quo and life & death, all seen thru a very rare pov of an elderly woman who works as carer and whose daughter is lesbian in south korea's very conservative ans homophobic society.
it makes for some provocative questions esp abt challenging the 'way of the world,' as the narrator puts it: wouldnt it be easier to live w/ one's head down and do whats necessary to ensure a dignified future esp in old age? it's a question that the titular mother and daughter wrestle w/ all thruout the book, compounded by the former's struggle to comprehend the latter's homosexuality.
though the book can be painfully slow at certain points and i find the characters frustrating a lot of the time, it cant be denied that theyre written well are are fleshed out, w/ major props to kim's ability to articulate the narrator's homophobic reasoning and logic, and her gradual change thats realistic. this book made me think a lot and it provided some very uncomfortable questions and thoughts that few def would want to think abt, but nevertheless necessary.
it makes for some provocative questions esp abt challenging the 'way of the world,' as the narrator puts it: wouldnt it be easier to live w/ one's head down and do whats necessary to ensure a dignified future esp in old age? it's a question that the titular mother and daughter wrestle w/ all thruout the book, compounded by the former's struggle to comprehend the latter's homosexuality.
though the book can be painfully slow at certain points and i find the characters frustrating a lot of the time, it cant be denied that theyre written well are are fleshed out, w/ major props to kim's ability to articulate the narrator's homophobic reasoning and logic, and her gradual change thats realistic. this book made me think a lot and it provided some very uncomfortable questions and thoughts that few def would want to think abt, but nevertheless necessary.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia and Lesbophobia
Minor: Death, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Excrement, and Injury/Injury detail
bridgetbry's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia
Moderate: Sexual violence
Minor: Death
clara_mai's review against another edition
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Hate crime, Homophobia, Dementia, Lesbophobia, and Injury/Injury detail