stunning and chilling bundled into an unforgettable read. perfect way to end halloween night <3

What a reprehensible little family. Noemi Toboada <3 i luv u <3 I wish you'd never met them.

Very interesting concept, surprisingly thoughtfully feminist and intersectional. Underneath the

mind-controlling, life-extending, consciousness-transferring mushrooms

is a story about the use and abuse of female, non-white, and poor bodies at the hands of a colonial power and men who never hear or internalize the word "no." Is it ground-breaking or particularly deep? No. But I was glad that

the people who mattered (Catalina and Noemi) made it out alive and triumphant and that Agnes was freed. I also appreciated that, at the end of the day, Catalina and Noemi saved themselves/each other, instead of being saved by a man.

Also, learned a new word: lugubrious = adj. looking or sounding sad and dismal. It played in my head on a loop for three days after I read it. Very fun word to say, one might even say too fun to mean "sad".

Weakest part of the book for me was the romance between Francis and Noemi

, wish they just ended as friends. Though I guess the novel itself tells us that we never know what the future has in store for them, so they may very well breakup

.

This book set out to horrify and it did. 

I would like to preface this review by saying that anyone thinking of reading it should absolutely understand that it is terrifying, and not in a jumpscare that isn't actually scary kind of way, but in a disgustingly graphic and detailed kind of way.

I was gifted/cursed (you decide) with not being able to visualise. When I read I see nothing in my mind, just the words on the page. This makes it a lot easier for me to read things that someone else (particularly my age) who can visualise can't. I am not the target age audience for this book. I acknowledged that going into it. This book is most definitely not for teenagers, which I am. Like I said, however, I can't see it. Should I have been able to visualise, I would have never picked this book up, certainly not at the age I am. I'm aware that I shouldn't have anyway, and it is nobody's fault but my own. 


That being said, this book is a masterpiece. It was written so beautifully, and whatever Silvia Moreno-Garcia set out to do, she achieved that and so much more. I was confused the entire time, and didn't want to be any the wiser. I'm a huge mystery fan, and love piecing stuff together, but this book (which focuses more on the horror (obviously) than the mystery) had me stumped. I had no clue what was happening until it happened, and even then I was dumbfounded. Our main character and narrator, Noemí goes through a lot of gruesome, horrible things. So do a lot of our characters. Unfortunately, although this is a paranormal (?) horror, a lot of what she and others go through in this are very real issues in not only her time (1950's), but nowadays too. The paranormal side of the story definitely has stabs of truth in it, and you can tell that Moreno-Garcia thought about every little word and detail down to the pixels on her screen. 

Only two books have ever made me feel physically sick to my stomach, made me feel like I was actually going to be sick (thanks, aphantasia). Girl in pieces by Kathleen Glasgow, and this. Take every review and trigger warning you see at face-value, and then double it. Nothing could have prepared me for this book. Whatever you're thinking might happen when you read the trigger warnings for this novel, it's probably much worse and much more disgusting than you realise. This book truly is not for the faint-hearted, and i absolutely urge you to turn your mind away from it if you think even the smallest detail could trigger something in you. I was lucky enough to not relate to anything in this book, unfortunately, that isn't the case for a lot of people. It is not a book to enjoy, especially the last 100-ish pages (where it gets really detailed with everything), but rather a book to think on. Yes, read it for fun, but be aware that there are maybe 3/301 pages that have any happy content in them. 

Saying all this, you may be wondering why I even gave it five stars at all, after all I'm literally saying "Don't pick it up!", but if you don't understand, someone else will. Reading something that will only succeed in opening wounds you've healed already is not good for a persons health. I will absolutely be recommending this book, most likely for many years to come, but I know (and no doubt Moreno-Garcia knows too) that books like this have a very specific target audience, and someone who isn't prepared to step into it, should not.