Without spoiling too much, this book is an amazing, reflective read. Going through the narrator's life as he copes with something new and daunting and watching it unravel is definitely eye-opening, and the ending made me sob for an entire half an hour. A beautifully written memoir.

This was a difficult book to get through, but certainly not because of how it's written. I love the prose, and if it hinges on pretentious every now and then, I guess Kalanithi, as neurosurgeon, neuroscientist and MA graduate in English Literature (if I recall correctly), is allowed to be - and also, as someone who's dying. He's also just so damn earnest and curious, I found his voice such a pleasure to read as he talked passionately and honestly about literature, neuroscience, and the meaning of life. He also really gave me a newfound appreciation for just how hard residence life is, and life as a doctor in general. 

It's an odd reading experience, too, knowing that the author was dying as he wrote this, and is now dead. It also made me reflect on my own reaction, as I couldn't help but think of everything he could've done in the field of neuroscience, as well as as a surgeon. Does that make the loss worse? I guess in the end that's just not a useful way of thinking. Who determines value, etc. Nevertheless, I'm certain his hospital and neuroscience as a whole are worse off without him, as is the literary world. And - as becomes clear at the end, so is his family. My thoughts go out to them. 

I think what I'll try to take away from this novel is his drive and curiosity. He really wanted to do certain things and he gave it his all to do so every step of the way. I'll have to remind myself to live a little more daringly, too. To remain curious and, above all, passionate. 

This has to be one of my worst reviews yet, especially in terms of coherency, but finally I want to share a few quotes that I loved:

"Anatomy lab, in the end, becomes less a violation of the sacred and more something that interferes with happy hour, and that realization discomfits. In our rare reflective moments, we are all silently apologising to our cadavers, not because we sensed the transgression but because we did not"

"We all have a notion of what it means to be good, and we can't live up to it all the time" 

"I plod, I ponder. Some days, I simply persist" 

Content warnings for suicide and loss of child.  While it might seem obvious as this is a book that deals with death and morality, these are two specific scenarios that were brought up that may be triggering to some individuals so wanted to point out.  The content of this book is heavy.  While I struggled in the beginning to get into it, by the end there were moments where I found myself crying or holding back tears.  There are very few people that I think would have been in a position to write this type of book and I will be forever grateful that one of those people, the author of this book, took the time to do so.  As someone who has been struggling with death and morality recently, reading this book definitely helped me feel, at the least, a sense of community, in that these are things many of us struggle with.  There were moments in the book that I struggled to get through, but overall I would recommend.

Immensely powerful, visceral posthumous memoir by a neuroscientist-neurosurgeon about his shifting philosophies around life and death in the face of his work and his cancer diagnosis. This was truly compelling to read, I finished it in one sitting. He has a very distinct, intelligent voice. Feel like this is one to return to at big moments of hardship and grief in life.