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bruhnette's review against another edition
reflective
slow-paced
3.0
As a transracial adoptive mom, I was very interested in reading this account of a transracial adoptive family formed in the 1970s. There was a lot of white saviorism and lofty ideals. So much so that I didn't make it very far trying to read it in print. I ended up waiting until my library had it on audio. It was much more palatable to me in that format. I wanted to know more about the adoptees' perspectives on what their parents did right and wrong in terms of transracial parenting. Because the author was one of the couple's white biological children, there wasn't really any information from the Black and Asian adoptees' perspectives. I wish there would have been at least a chapter from some of the author's siblings so their voices were part of this story.
Thank you to W. W. Norton & Company, Liveright, and NetGalley for a review copy of this title.
Thank you to W. W. Norton & Company, Liveright, and NetGalley for a review copy of this title.
ellaxiao's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
3.5
Not that the perspective isn’t valuable, but the story felt rather incomplete and I would have much more preferred and trusted to read from one of the adoptees/POC perspective on the situation
jtspfchm's review against another edition
5.0
It feels surreal to read from a fellow Kept sibling, as I've never talked to one in my life. I knew I want to trust the narrative within the first pages, when the parents in the story are referred to by their first names - only us - only us who pondered what really makes parents parents, and reconciled that they have to be just other humans with names, not the labels that the non-adoptive world attributes so much of their meaning and connotation to, to understand our parents and our relationships with them.
Before that, though, I hesitated on my copy of the book for a while, wondering if it was ok for the author, a white person, and a Kept person, to speak on the circumstances of adoption? Or maybe really, I might have been wondering, what purpose would my narrative ever serve, as a Kept person and someone who immigrated by choice?
We are too adoptive to ever feel comfortable with the dominant narrative of adoption, not even the adoptive parents' ones, yet never will, and never should be the authoritative voices on the topic of adoption - that should always be adoptees. Just like what was covered in the book, there were things we saw differently as children, there were things we sought after fiercely as adults, yet there are parts we fail to see, that were the experiences of our adoptee counterparts. I have been silent for most of my life, because much of it wasn't mine to share, nor should my voice be out there to overpower those of the adoptees. (Yet adoptive parents and non adoptive people often feel so entitled to speak and comment on our issues.) But maybe we should say something, about ourselves, and with our limitations.
If you only take away one thing from this though: listen to adoptees, and listen to the children.
Before that, though, I hesitated on my copy of the book for a while, wondering if it was ok for the author, a white person, and a Kept person, to speak on the circumstances of adoption? Or maybe really, I might have been wondering, what purpose would my narrative ever serve, as a Kept person and someone who immigrated by choice?
We are too adoptive to ever feel comfortable with the dominant narrative of adoption, not even the adoptive parents' ones, yet never will, and never should be the authoritative voices on the topic of adoption - that should always be adoptees. Just like what was covered in the book, there were things we saw differently as children, there were things we sought after fiercely as adults, yet there are parts we fail to see, that were the experiences of our adoptee counterparts. I have been silent for most of my life, because much of it wasn't mine to share, nor should my voice be out there to overpower those of the adoptees. (Yet adoptive parents and non adoptive people often feel so entitled to speak and comment on our issues.) But maybe we should say something, about ourselves, and with our limitations.
If you only take away one thing from this though: listen to adoptees, and listen to the children.
christynhoover's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Complex tale of two biological and four adopted children of an idealistic couple.
So many levels of relationship --between one another and with society at large-- are revealed as the children age and "launch" into adulthood.
I'm the parent of one biological and one adopted child (transracial --from Bolivia). The book gave me so much to think about: insights into my (likely) failings as a parent; the importance of the relationship my children have with each other; the unseen difficulties that my children --who in no way resembled each other-- likely experienced with society as they were growing up in our family.
So many levels of relationship --between one another and with society at large-- are revealed as the children age and "launch" into adulthood.
I'm the parent of one biological and one adopted child (transracial --from Bolivia). The book gave me so much to think about: insights into my (likely) failings as a parent; the importance of the relationship my children have with each other; the unseen difficulties that my children --who in no way resembled each other-- likely experienced with society as they were growing up in our family.
mom2stitch's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
2.0
As someone who has personal experience with transracial adoption I feel he glorified his parents to much. He mentioned strict parenting was what his parents were told the Asian children needed. But doesn’t show examples of how his parents were strict . His white privilege shows up in his writing especially when he uses the word “we” but yet you don’t feel his siblings feedback in the story. The pictures he chooses are often to dark and you can only see the white people in the picture. He doesn’t describe new characters race unless they are not white. He justifies teasing his sister about her accent but says she calls his actions racist.
I think the only reason I finished this book was because I was hoping he would learn something but I feel like he still hasn’t. He is close to his black/Vietnamese brother but doesn’t really see the whole of his brother just his blackness and don’t even get me started about his youngest brother.
I think the only reason I finished this book was because I was hoping he would learn something but I feel like he still hasn’t. He is close to his black/Vietnamese brother but doesn’t really see the whole of his brother just his blackness and don’t even get me started about his youngest brother.