Phew, where do I even start?  This book was a lot--and I can definitely say it's not going to be for everyone but I am one of those someones that ate it up. I'm in my 30's now but if this book dropped when I was in my late teens to early twenties it would have been my whole personality. Tumblr would have eaten this book up in the early 2010's.

This book was steeped with nostalgia being a former punk/emo kid that also grew up in New Jersey. I mean there are little lyrical Easter eggs to The Gaslight Anthem (and many more bands!), plus a full playlist in this so how could I not like it?

Like others have stated this is at its core a very heavy, and sad coming of age story which centers around a toxic, unhealthy friendship and how it affected our protagonist over the span of ten years. I do wish the book was more forward with using trigger warnings--there are (many) graphic depictions of eating disorders along with S.A. and discussions of self harm which are not mentioned in the book description or displayed as trigger warnings which I think is unfortunate. I see a lot of complaints about the characters being unlikeable but weren't we all insufferable to a degree as teenagers?  The prose is beautiful and there are plenty of memorable quotes but the pacing and overall plotting did fall short for me at some times. Still, I would absolutely read more from this author in the future and thought it was a great debut. 

"I told her I'd love her forever if Iever loved at all, loved her more than I'd ever loved anyone before, more than I'd love anyone to come. And she had no idea I was just smushing together a couple of songs." if you know, you know.

I sort of feel awful rating this so low but it just felt like such a mess, which is so disappointing because I was so excited for it. The pacing and time jumps of the book felt confusing, the relationship between Khaki and Fiona was supposed to feel obsessive and connected but I didn't get that at all. I was so excited for the band/song references but that didn't feel cohesive either. I also am uncertain as to why the references to the Scooby schools existed, as that is a direct reference to the Five College Consortium but they were in California. I wanted to like this so much but it felt fragmented and honestly I was on the verge of DNFing it for most of the book.